All the Pennies
by Luna Darkside
Summary: It's 10:09 on a Friday night when Kaito realizes he's in love with his rival-turned-best-friend. /ShinKai & KaiShin, oneshot, complete/


_This is... odd. I tried a different style - it's kind of rambling and disorganized, but I'm praying that it's not_ too_ distracting...?_

_Anyway, warnings include the aforementioned style, shounen-ai, possible grammar mistakes / errors, etc. Yeah. Title from "All the Pennies" by Mindy Gledhill, which is one of the happiest songs I could think of._

_Enjoy? - Luna_

**All the Pennies**

It's 10:09 on a Friday night when Kaito realizes he's in love with his rival-turned-best-friend.

He's staring at the TV, half-watching the crime show that Shinichi has been raving about for the past three weeks (though Kaito doesn't get the appeal; it seems like every other of the thirty million detective dramas Shinichi adores) as Shinichi gasps and gapes and hoards the popcorn bowl. And when Kaito happens to glance over as he tries to wrestle a handful of popcorn away from Shinichi's death grip, he just stops and thinks, _hey. I'm in love with him._

Weirdly enough, there are no heavenly fanfares or sudden bright flashes of light or warm feelings spreading through Kaito's chest. Well, okay, yes, there's a softness that settles in his mind like an exhaled _oh_, but he doesn't suddenly start seeing the world in color and having visions of a future with Shinichi and a stucco house and eighteen cats. It's more – Kaito studies Shinichi's profile against the glow of the TV, his mouth partway open and the shine of his eyes reflecting the (rather gory) murder scene playing out on-screen, and he acknowledges that he likes seeing it. He wants to see this same scene every Friday night, or at least until this serial killer drama is replaced by something else.

Shinichi finally glances over at him as the on-screen detective dodges a shot and runs, swearing, down an alley. He relinquishes his hold on the popcorn bowl and offers it to Kaito, an eyebrow arched, and Kaito shakes his head and curls up to pretend to watch the show.

He met Shinichi five years ago in their second year of university, when Kaito was still rooming with Hakuba and going out of his mind with the desire to cut every last one of Hakuba's deerstalkers into ribbons. Shinichi came over to visit on a Thursday, and Hakuba introduced him as "Kudou Shinichi, the Great Detective of the East and my lab partner," as if Kaito didn't immediately recognize him and suddenly want a very large blanket to hide from Shinichi's knowing _You're Kid, aren't you, I am most definitely going to hold this over your head _gaze.

When Hakuba went to go make Shinichi a cup of his needlessly pretentious "proper British tea," Kaito took the opportunity to frantically swear Shinichi to secrecy. He probably would've felt less like a small, pathetic child if Shinichi hadn't smirked condescendingly at him throughout Kaito's entire speech.

After Shinichi left that day, throwing pleasantries at Hakuba and smiling charmingly, Kaito didn't expect to see him again. Shinichi proved him wrong by dropping by the dorm at every opportunity. When Kaito bothered to question why he kept showing up even when Hakuba was in a lecture or out doing whatever annoying blond detectives did, Shinichi just grinned and shrugged in a _who knows _sort of way. Kaito left him to his weird motives, deciding it would be futile to try to resist when Shinichi already knew about his night job.

Shinichi, as it turned out, was actually a nice person underneath all his initial, annoying snarky-detective impression. He wore a lot of sweaters during winter and part of spring, especially soft robin's egg blue ones that made his eyes seem even brighter than they were, and he had a habit of tugging at his hair every time he got flustered. He had a childhood friend who was completely in love with him (Shinichi never noticed, and Ran's advances died down by junior year) and a best friend who was weirdly protective (the first time Shinichi brought him to Hakuba and Kaito's dorm, Hattori tried to decapitate Kaito with a broom).

The fact that Kaito was planning Hakuba's grisly death came out one morning, while Kaito ranted on about Hakuba's irrational dish-washing rules (scrubbing a plate counterclockwise had no difference from scrubbing it clockwise, and Kaito was never going to change his mind on that, no matter how many "scientific studies" Hakuba shoved at him) and Shinichi watched him over the rim of his plain white coffee mug.

Once Kaito stopped to inhale and take a bite out of the chocolate croissant Shinichi had brought him (Kaito's chocolate addiction was one of the first things Shinichi deduced about him), Shinichi leaned forward and asked him if he'd prefer to room with Shinichi, because Shinichi had a house and he didn't mind sharing.

Kaito soon found, when he went to scope out what Shinichi's place was like, that Shinichi's idea of a house was more of Kaito's idea of a mansion. He felt he was justified in calling Shinichi's "house" a mansion, though, because most houses, in Japan and elsewhere, weren't huge, Western-styled, two stories, with eight rooms and a filled-to-capacity library. Shinichi, however, insisted on calling it a house, and Kaito decided it was easier to not argue.

He moved in three days later, packing as quickly as he could.

(He did, however, manage to cut up one of Hakuba's deerstalkers before he left, leaving it as a parting gift. One that resulted in Hakuba storming over to Shinichi's house to threaten him loudly in English while Shinichi tried to keep them from getting blood on his carpet. Kaito doesn't think Hakuba will ever forgive him.)

It's been four years since then, and they've both graduated. Shinichi has a job as a consultant with the police force (to the surprise of absolutely no one) and Kaito works as a reporter for the Beika Times (his favorite thing to do is write the articles that cover Shinichi's cases, because he can get excellent inside information out of Shinichi). He also gives magic shows in the park and at the theater when he has time, and Shinichi always makes time to come watch him. It's a comfortable existence, and Kaito has been feeling the slow burn of contentment every time he stops to think.

The revelation that he's very much in love with Shinichi prods at that steady blaze, but it doesn't ignite anything or send fire licking through his veins. Days after that Friday night, Kaito doesn't feel anything more than a lingering impulse to smile whenever he lays eyes on Shinichi.

...Okay, that may be a lie. Kaito also wants to touch him, to reach out and tuck Shinichi's wayward bits of hair behind his ears whenever Shinichi is too engrossed in a new case report to do it himself. He also can't stop the little sparks he feels at the base of his spine whenever Shinichi nips thoughtfully at the back of a cheap plastic pen or Kaito rediscovers just how pink Shinichi's mouth can be when he's been constantly biting at his lips in frustration over a lack of evidence (or a lack of coffee).

Sometimes, it can get distracting, but for the most part, Kaito operates the same as he did before. He makes dinner (Shinichi is a hopeless chef) and does the laundry (Shinichi can't be trusted to separate the lights from the darks) and makes sure the coffeemaker is on before Shinichi wakes up (a Shinichi without caffeine is a Shinichi who is easily convinced to break his iron morals and commit murder). It's all very – domestic, perhaps, but Kaito didn't care before and he doesn't care now.

When Kaito comes home, tired of arguing with his editor and the young, irritating photographer that's been assigned to him, Shinichi is usually either sprawled out on the couch, half asleep with his handworn copy of _The Sign of Four _thrown gracelessly across the front of his favorite sweatshirt, or drinking a cup of black coffee while slogging through a meter-tall stack of case files. No matter which he's doing, he always responds to Kaito's _I'm home _with the customary _Welcome back_ and gives him a grin.

If Kaito is in a good mood, Shinichi attempts to help him cook dinner and lets Kaito laugh at him when he utterly fails at chopping cucumbers. Then they take whatever Kaito has cooked and eat it at the ancient kitchen table, and Kaito talks about how he's been forced to write about a fourteen-year-old who saves a family of ducks from certain death (the ducks had been parading across the street during rush hour) while Shinichi alternates between making snarky comments and bad puns and grins at him around his chopsticks.

After that, they either go watch one of Shinichi's dramas (if it's a Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday) or get ready for bed if Kaito knows he has an early assignment the next morning. Sometimes, Kaito's early nights overlap with Shinichi's drama days, and it results in Shinichi good-naturedly complaining that he has to miss his show as he brushes his teeth. Kaito has learned that if he points out Shinichi could just watch his show by himself, Shinichi gives him a blank look and says, _what's the point watching it without you there?_ Kaito never really knows how to respond to that.

If Kaito is in a bad mood, Shinichi doesn't try to talk and only offers to order curry rice from the (one and only) takeout place that delivers to the mansion. Sometimes Kaito agrees, in which case they end up eating curry rice on the couch in silence until Kaito explodes into a tirade about whatever's wrong and Shinichi listens wordlessly. The times that Kaito brushes Shinichi's offer of curry off end in very early nights and Kaito leaving an apology note on Shinichi's coffee mug in the morning, when he's feeling less pissed off and more repentant. Shinichi never minds, though. He's both resilient and tolerant, most of the time.

They've only gotten into a fight twice. Once was after a particularly dangerous case hunting down the leader of a drug syndicate landed Shinichi in the hospital, and Kaito was so worried when he got the _your best friend's in the hospital _call that when he got to Shinichi's hospital room, he just flew into a rant at the sight of Shinichi with a broken leg and bandaged ribs. Shinichi, predictably, didn't understand why Kaito was so worked up over a few broken bones. The end result was Kaito gripping the starched hospital linens and begging Shinichi to _never do that again, please, I was so scared I was going to lose you_ and Shinichi tugging Kaito's hair out of his face and agreeing.

The second time they fought, it was over the only girlfriend Kaito ever had throughout the course of their friendship. Her name was Miyako, and she was an engineering and computer languages double major. She liked to wear floral prints and ballet flats, and she always carried a pen on her. Shinichi hated her from the beginning. They argued over her one night when Kaito got home late from a date, though Kaito doesn't remember what part of her was the problem. The fight was never technically resolved until Miyako dumped him for a guy in her physics class and Shinichi cheered him up by attempting to bake a chocolate cake. It ended in fire extinguishers and a burnt lump of charcoal, but remembering it still makes Kaito smile now.

Thinking of Miyako reminds Kaito of how Shinichi hasn't dated in the whole four years they've known each other. He knows it's not for lack of people interested in Shinichi – all the times Kaito visits Shinichi at work, be it the police station or a crime scene, there's always at least one set of eyes admiring Shinichi from the sidelines. But maybe Shinichi is blind or dense or ridiculously clueless, because he never seems to see that there are people lining up to date him. He treats everyone the same, blindingly polite at first and then snarkily sarcastic as time wears on, no matter if the person is fifty and married or twenty and single. It doesn't quite make sense to Kaito.

Although, now that Kaito has fully realized just how much he loves Shinichi, he's glad for it. If Shinichi doesn't notice romantic advances, then maybe they can continue living together like this, best friends who know each other better than they know themselves. Maybe nothing will change.

This lasts for a month.

It's a Saturday night this time. Kaito has just been promoted to news editor, and Shinichi finally managed to crack a manslaughter case that he's been slaving over for two days. They decide to celebrate by going to Lotus, a high class bar in Haido that Hakuba claims is the best around and Hattori grudgingly admits isn't bad for a place in Tokyo.

Neither Shinichi nor Kaito go to bars much anymore, too busy with work and spending time together, so Lotus is an almost new experience. The decor is minimalist, bare splotches of color amidst the muted notes of chrome and off-white, and the staff is dressed to match. When they enter, Kaito sits down at the glossy-topped bar. Shinichi is about to take the stool beside him when he spots a fellow officer across the room and, apologizing needlessly to Kaito, hurries off to exchange pleasantries. Kaito supposes they're still at the "polite conversation" stage of their acquaintance. The thought makes him laugh.

He stops laughing, however, when a tall, well-muscled man slides into the spot beside him with an appreciative whistle. He raises his eyebrows, all_ hey honey _and generally creepy, and Kaito shrinks back. This guy fairly drips sleaze.

The urge to get mildly violent grows as the man places a hand on Kaito's thigh and leers. Kaito is three seconds from punching him in the face when fingers grasps Kaito's bicep and pulls him to his feet. He doesn't have time to blink before an arm slips snugly around his waist, grounding him, and he looks up to find Shinichi glowering at the now scowling man. Kaito is allowed three seconds of shock that wow, Shinichi's arm is around his waist, before he redirects his attention to the more pressing matter of Shinichi appearing about as happy as an enraged bull.

"What are you doing to Kaito?" Shinichi asks with well-calculated calm. He somehow manages to convey several pages of disdainful text, complete with MLA citation, by lifting an eyebrow at the man. It's a distractingly good look on him.

The man huffs. "I just wanted to talk to him." Before Kaito can demand to know how molestation can be counted as _talking_, he goes on, "And I don't see why it's any of your business if I want to talk to Cutie here, unless he's your boyfriend."

Shinichi's mouth pinches, and Kaito knows it's the same expression he wears when suspects flaunt well-crafted alibis or a lack of evidence. It's an expression that means _you're right and I can't contest that_ _and that makes me unhappy._

Kaito is about to just drag Shinichi away from the smirking man and his wandering paws when Shinichi's arm tightens, almost imperceptibly around him, and Shinichi says in unimpressed, level tones, "Who said he wasn't my boyfriend?"

The air whooshes straight out of Kaito's lungs as he turns to gape at Shinichi, but Shinichi doesn't look at him and all he can see is Shinichi's profile. Kaito is struck by the memory of Shinichi staring at the TV screen all those weeks ago.

For a second, the man's gaze shifts between them, carefully searching, and then he grins, revoltingly disbelieving. "Not seeing it, babe," he drawls, not a hint of unease in his voice.

And that probably shouldn't hurt – it's just something a halfway drunk stranger said in a bar, for God's sake – but all the same, it makes something growl in Kaito's head. Does it really seem - is it really so impossible for that to be true? For Kaito and Shinichi to be in that kind of relationship?

He's not who's the most surprised, the man, Shinichi, or Kaito, when Kaito reaches up and tangles his fingers in Shinichi's hair and drags Shinichi's head towards him and kisses Shinichi squarely on the mouth.

The initial smooth, warm slide of Shinichi's lips against Kaito's glues his feet to the ground. The feeling of Shinichi opening his mouth and licking against the roof of Kaito's mouth sends his hands scrabbling for purchase on Shinichi's face, palms eventually settling against Shinichi's cheekbones as he sighs into the kiss. Kissing Shinichi feels comforting and familiar, not at all foreign or strange, and Kaito has the fleeting thought that he'd very much like to do this for a long, long time. Possibly forever, if that could be managed.

Dimly, he registers the man grumbling something and the scrape of his stool as he stands. He's more concerned with the pressure of Shinichi's fingertips against his hipbone, firm and unyielding, and the slick, damp sounds their mouths have begun to make against each other.

Shinichi is first to pull back, eyes fluttering open frantically. Pink is painted high across his cheeks, his mouth is bitten red, there's a definite glaze to his eyes, but he is distinctly terrified. His mouth snaps shut, but Kaito reads the questions in the shudder of his eyelashes and the electrocuted way Shinichi releases his hips. _What's happening? Why did you _–_?_

And then Kaito, because he's apparently the world's biggest coward and is only now realizing this, runs a hand through his ruffled hair and says, awkward and halting, "I just – it was the best way to get rid of him, right? Don't – take it the wrong way."

He watches as Shinichi's face shutters and he nods, abruptly businesslike as he soundlessly agrees.

Everything after that is absolutely horrible.

Technically, there's no change in their routine. Everything appears exactly the same, from the way Kaito sets up the coffeemaker in the mornings to how they end up on the couch every Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday for one of Shinichi's dramas, but there's a difference, an undercurrent of discomfort. It's not obvious; when Ran stops by for tea, she doesn't comment on it, and neither does Hakuba when he returns the first-edition copy of _A Study in Scarlet _he's been borrowing for the past two weeks.

It's entirely possible that the whole icy undertow is all in Kaito's imagination. Maybe Shinichi isn't acting any different. Maybe Shinichi doesn't even care. Maybe Kaito is the only one still remembering the phantom taste of their kiss and almost wishing Shinichi had left bruises on his hips as some sort of twisted souvenir from the only time he'd every gotten to kiss his best friend.

Kaito finally begins to believe Shinichi is completely unaffected when Shinichi passes him the salt with barely a glance in his direction for the eighteenth time since the Lotus incident. He proceeds to mope.

It goes on for three weeks. He doesn't talk to Shinichi other than his usual _I'm home_, and even that he doesn't do with much enthusiasm. Shinichi notices immediately, but it seems as if he doesn't know or care why Kaito is suddenly a stranger because he doesn't try to talk to Kaito about the radio silence. His apathy burns at Kaito, eating away at him as he proofreads articles with headlines like _Kudou Shinichi does it again! _and _The Great Detective of the East solves another baffling case! _Even at work, Kaito can't escape.

Everything comes to a head when Kaito gets a call from the hospital because Shinichi has been shot while in pursuit of a wanted serial killer.

Well, not _shot_, exactly, Kaito discovers when he's standing outside Shinichi's hospital room at Beika General, three kinds of horrified and out of breath from running all the way from the parking lot. Shinichi has been _grazed_, Officers Satou and Takagi inform him gravely. The bullet nicked his arm, but thankfully missed any vital arteries. It's, and here Satou pauses almost emphatically, the result of distraction, something she'd never expect from Shinichi, and does Kaito know if anything's wrong in his life, since they're such great friends?

Kaito shakes his head a little too quickly and a little too hard and then he asks if he can go in and see Shinichi. The two officers exchange a look before Takagi gently pushes him to the door with a small smile, telling Kaito to take his time and that he and Shinichi are free to leave whenever, as Shinichi has already been cleared by the doctors.

Shinichi is pale when Kaito enters the utilitarian, well-sanitized hospital room. Kaito's eyes instantly flit to the stark white bandage wrapped around Shinichi's right bicep, and he swallows hard. _It's the result of distraction. _Distraction because Kaito has been a complete ass lately, so childishly unable to move past one single kiss, and Shinichi just doesn't know how to handle it anymore. Isn't that what it is, essentially?

Before Kaito can apologize and disappear as best he can, Shinichi shakes his head and straightens. "Not your fault," he mutters and Kaito opens his mouth to correct him because he thinks that's all Shinichi wants to say, but Shinichi proves him wrong by meeting his gaze and continuing, "not your fault that I couldn't stop thinking about kissing you."

And Kaito stares, because it almost sounds as if – okay, it doesn't _almost _sound as if Shinichi wants him. It really, truly does, and it's – it's bewildering. He doesn't know how to respond to the knowledge, the slightest implication that Shinichi hasn't been completely unaffected by that kiss at Lotus.

So Kaito swallows, opens his mouth, shuts his mouth, and finally manages, "How long?"

That's a lot of questions, from _how long have you been thinking about kissing me _to _how long have you been waiting for me _to _how long have you loved me_. Kaito isn't expecting a real answer, he's fully expecting Shinichi to brush this whole thing off. He's almost hoping for it.

Meeting his eyes levelling, Shinichi answers, "As long as I've known you." Somehow, Kaito gets the feeling that he's answering every question Kaito could throw at him, just like that. Shinichi is nothing if not efficient.

The words collect at the back of Kaito's neck, sticky and warm. He parts his lips, and he crosses the room and doesn't stop until he's stealing the air from Shinichi's lungs, drowning in the feeling of Shinichi's fingers curled hard around the waistband of his jeans and the fine silkiness of Shinichi's hair beneath the pads of his fingers.

Nothing, Kaito thinks the next morning as he pours coffee beans into the maker and Shinichi stumbles into the kitchen, wearing a necklace of teeth marks and one of Kaito's shirts, has really changed. And that's, he adds absently as Shinichi presses a toothpaste-flavored kiss to his mouth, the benefit of falling in love with your best friend.

* * *

**...Yeah. Anyway. ****If you liked this, please consider leaving me a review, okay? See you all soon! - Luna**


End file.
